Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Right when I was born I cried out, Catholicism!

This one's gonna get a bit interesting....

I remember when I was little going to religion class, learning about the miracles that only one man was ever able to make in the empty pond, blind man being able to see, loaf after loaf after new pitched loaf......except now of course we have David Copperfield. Okay, so they're not the same, David was born through actual sex, so far as we know. Jesus would perform these acts only once he was able to understand that he had this power, somewhere around his mid to late twenties, because before that no one's really sure what he was doing; maybe training with the high school debate team or forming their Model UN. The concerns started coming to me though when I went to a Catholic high school. Not when I never made my Confirmation because I stopped going to religion class at the sign of consistent yawning. That wasn't enough, I needed tactile proof. In high school, nuns were the most miserable women. "Put your hand on the desk so my ruler can abuse you for what god has taken away from me" (she meant having to live a life of chastity, poverty, and obedience). If you want a disgruntled human being, dress them up like a penguin and tell them they have to be poor and can never get off for the rest of their life. Good god, literally.....Fan-Tastic god. Having to take Theology class I learned about how many people were killed in The Bible by so called God for not believing or following him. If you don't remember, the easiest example is the Pharaoh and his Egyptian Army and all their horses that were drowned in the parting of the Red Sea when chasing the Israelites. Or how about the famed Noah's Ark where God's night of binge drinking got him so upset that he found the word "Deluge" in his papyrus dictionary and decided to flood all of mankind, to kill everyone except Noah and his pets because he's a murdering psycho. Ive never thought killing someone was a necessary evil to accomplish a goal or make a point. That'd be like praising Hitler. Wait a second, what kind of a vacation was he on during the Nazi regime? And yet here's the evidence in our faith's holiest book that we're supposed to follow, telling us what he did to make Catholicism popular. Scare the shit out of people and force them to believe.

Well, the last straw was my trip to Italy. Remember, life of poverty. There's not a man richer than the Pope, I'll tell you that. I walked through the Vatican with gold reflecting off my eyes, yet I had to wear pants in the middle of Italy's blistering July. Heaven's forbid my legs were to be seen while inside the building...doesn't god already know what I look like butt naked? To my right was Michelangelo's Pieta, a priceless sculpture that cannot be purchased, and right above it, the Pope's bedroom. I wonder what kind of nightmare's he has, expecting news of another young boy and what atrocity his fellow Priests have inflicted. The Sistine Chapel is another place which is limitless in terms of monetary as well as historic value, and there's where our tour guide told us about the infallible homosexual relations between the Pope at the time and the artist Michelangelo himself....kissing each other's necks with every swipe of the brush. One for you, one for me, two for you, and one, two for me. All you women out there, you're telling me a merciful God would make women's childbirth specifically painful to punish them for some sin of another thousands of years ago? He'd definitely wiped out those bitches who had it easy during his night of drinking anyway....or how about giving everyone different languages and sending them off to random countries to live without any idea of what the hell was going on. The story of the Tower of Babel. Maybe just ironic or derived from the story itself, that word "babbling" is perfect for how everyone sounded after God's great mercy that day.

If I do have a child I think I'll let them choose what religion they like, if they ever even want one. They can do the research themselves and see which one truly fits their interest..and then I'll study it and start debates with them. I can't say I'm the cleanest and meanest since I will still follow through with hypocritical family traditions that are wrapped around religious celebrations. And I'll do that because on Christmas Day or Easter, I'm not praying or sacrificing lambs, nor do I even attend church which would equate being religious, but rather because they have become days each year like many others in our family, where we get together to appreciate each other's company.

This isn't meant to be a disproving argument of Jesus' existence, as it's been factually proven that a man named Jesus did actually live....down the block from me when I was little. No but seriously, the scariest idea is that any one religion is the know-all, be-all in someones life... If you're really going to choose that then fine, but before you go converting your neighbor and condemning everyone that believes something different, look into the background a bit and don't deny your common sense to shrugs that you're just lacking sense it because it most likely smells like bull....

1 comment:

JoePerantau said...

Hi, just wanted to say hello, found your blog whi' checking the Slumdog Millionaire links on Seriously, I kinda like your style of writing.