Monday, December 8, 2008

Hey Marky Mark, How's Your Motha?

I know, I'm a bit late on this one, but it still pisses me off. How many of you watch SNL? If you don't, go youtube this. Okay, well recently Andy Sandberg, whom I think is funny on as rare an occasion as Bobby Fischer making a public appearance, did a skit on "Marky Mark" talking to animals. The Sandberg kid did an amazing job...I mean, he sounded just like him and the dialogue was outrageous, it was brillianT to a poinTless T. Now, if you think about it, what's that line that everyone always says..."imitation is the highest form of flattery?" Well Mark Wahlberg never heard that line, or like me, just assumed it was created to make people feel better about being imitated like saying rain is lucky on your wedding day or stepping in dogshit should prompt the purchase of a lottery ticket. He got all pissed off and embarrassed that he actually called the studio bitching and threatening that they should apologize for the skit, yada yada and a big fucking yada.

This guy goes off like a mortar every time someone uses the words Marky Mark in a sentence. Give me a don't hear Will Smith telling people to never ask him a question about Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.....or Jim Carrey about Fire Marshall Bill on In Living Color. How about George Clooney and The Facts of Life. These are things that boosted their careers, just like him and his stupid band Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch. Get over it, you rode the coat tails of your brother Donny who was a teen heartthrob in New Kids on the Block, and now you're trying to block that all out. The way by which you and your underwear advertising got you you think we really care about your past? You add more lighter fluid to a very small flame by denouncing such history and showing us what pressure points are easiest to push. That's what the media loves. Since you're the creator of Entourage, I know we're supposed to bow at your knees and fondle some sac, but you're better than the immaturity you've displayed. Be a man and look at your life as a bunch of steps leading you to the summit...if you hadn't taken those exact steps you would not be where you are today.

p.s. If you're gonna tell me he made up for his kiddie throwing shovels in the sandbox episode by parodying the same skit based on him the following week, than you need a lesson on motivations. Someone with a career including Boogie Nights, The Perfect Storm and The Departed doesn't need to fly out to SNL to prove he's not defensive...and instead, he should laugh off the funnier moments in his career by comparing them to how far he has come, and what he learned from that time in is life. For now, I wouldn't say hi to Marky Mark on the street even if he walked right by me.....well I shouldn't say that, there's really only one thing I'd whisper..... "say hi to your motha for me."

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