Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Walking at Night

I often choose paths, less lit by afar, 
for there is little risk, in what's inevitably bright.

There are times, many times, where I'd rather not live, 
hence traveling dark paths especially during night.

Walking, passing, doubling back, caught staring.  
Through yellowed windows, a man sits at 80.
  
His chair, his posture, the TV, me at 80. 
Yellow walls, clear glass, flickering future, leather lazy.

Coasting by, I beg not, for old age comes to all.
Why rush what's inevitable, some do choose to fall. 

Why bother walking, when you can just sit and rot?
Because rotting is just sitting, when walking is not.

I feel pity, in my gut, for my life, for my choices.
Should I have changed? Never moved? Entertained other's voices?

What's real, what's fake, what's right, what's wrong.
Close your eyes, embrace the night, kiss and hum, cicada's song.

I know when I ask out loud just to die, 
all pain's remedied looking up at the sky.

Pacing the stars, late at night, grass soft, at my feet. 
Your chest bare, to my ear,  beat beat, a stammer beat....

If you walk, think of death; do choose a less lit path.
For we're all seeking answers, this here, aftermath.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

I'm Always Missing Out

I'm driving West, to work, the Jitney is heading East. I've just never had a place to stay out there....that's why I don't go, otherwise I'd be there with bells on.  What does a Hamptonite look like? Is her pussy tanned, wet, blond and waxed? I'm always missing out....

Tahrir Square is packed with Egyptians fighting for their government to change, again....democracy? I wanna feel like a part of something. I wanna be there waving a flag, pretending I know who or what will help me, not take more of my rights away.  I'm always missing out....

Bill Cunningham is stalking 5th ave, snapping photos, catching black as the in color block of a rainy summer...why didn't I think of that. I have a camera.  Dude's 80+.  I'm always missing out....

Indian is the new Persian like Persian was the new Italian. Dosa's, Debashish Battacharya, The Billionaire's Apprentice, Neon Indian, Calcutta on a hot Wednesday night. I love Indians, I have Indian friends, well, a friend.  I should meet more.  Learn more about India, differences between North and South, Punjabi and Bengali. Apply to IIT.  Wish I studied abroad.  I'm always missing out....

My friend is a geological scientist...she got a job offer in Hawaii!  Sooo in demand now.  Gasland II is about to release..not that she deals with fracking.  Documentaries are my love.  I could think of something to film.  Can't I?  I wish I had studied something cooler.  Just pulled up to the Leasing Office where I work.  There's a leak coming through the ceiling.  Wish I was en engineer or an architect.  Would have built this place better. I'm always missing out....

Edward Snowden just wanted to inform us.  Wish I could give something to our whole nation like he did.  Whistleblower smishtleblower.  Hope Ecuador picks him up.  I know an Ecuadorean girl. Maybe she has family there in government? I should reach out to her.  She'd probably think I was a creep since I haven't talked with her since I was young.  But isnt that what Facebook is for?  She just had a baby.  "Congratulations!  Do you know anyone in Ecuadorean parliament?"  Dumbass, you're too late.  I'm always missing out....

The Venice Biennale looks like a kids art project in the cafeteria of Connetquot Elementary School.  I could have submitted something better.  Maybe I will next year.  A dollar sign puzzle made of lottery tickets with everyone's wishes written down on the tickets...with a bible verse cut in the middle of it, and prayer hands painted over the tickets?  That'll be ironic...wanting to win money, but praying to God to win money..life of poverty?  That's what these art critics look for, isn't it?  Six steps deep..Bobby Fisher type of shit.  I wish I was a better chess player, and visited St. petersburg, or Leningrad.  I like Leningrad better than the new name St. petersburg.  Lenin, Stalin, Putin...boys boys boys, Schlagen.  I miss college...it went by too fast. My 10-year reunion is this summer.  Sleep in bunk beds and pound batty blues and wings at the IB.  Not gonna go though,  I couldnt' wait for it to end while there so I'll probably be miserable.  Hopefully my friends will post pics.  Thank God for Facebook, since....I'm always missing out....

James Turrell is at the Guggenheim.  Dude bought a crater in the middle of nowhere and has underground rooms like cave scenes from some Kubrick apocalyptic never produced. Should I take the train in?  See light formations for like 10 bucks on the upper east side. Kinda busy though, with work and all.  My buddy's done recess lighting in his bedroom, maybe we can get together and fuck around with mirrors.  Fucking hours this week are brutal though...whatevs, they're just lights.  I'm always missing out....

Grucci firework family was just at Eisenhower Park the other night during the Philharmonic's performance.  Totally should have went to that.  DVR had nothing good saved anyway.  Wait, that's on the big lawn where the goose shit all day, and there'll probably be mad mexicans over there taking up all the park benches, and there'll be nowhere to park, or sit...and that damned Leisure Pass, I never bought that thing.  It'll cost me ten bucks to get in the place..and it's fucking 45 minutes away at least.  Forget it, I've seen fireworks before..and the Philharmonic's on PBS every other night...I won't even bother.  I'm alway missing out....

Sitting here watching Thump.  Shit's getting me tres jealouso. Wanna eat pussy and molly and whatever's on the table.  I wanna try everything...well, not everything. Not Sisa, or H...but anything else. Buy those gloves with the glowy finger tips, start moving em around in the dark while rolling a poker chip back and forth between my fingers.  Trippin.  Haven't danced since dancing wasn't fucking.  I keep hearing about clubs down in meatpacking, near the Standard, a shit kicking beer garden over there and KAzino.  I have to get over there, dress nice, have someone with me...who would I bring though...and wait, isn't that the bridge and tunnel crowd? That is probably a sweaty guido mess over there, especially in the summer.  Thats right, all the cool people leave the city in the summer on weekends.  Where do the cool kids go?  Oh yea...that Jitney, that God dammed Ambassador, who's on those things...what's their pussy look like.  Is it tanned, is it wet? Is it blond, is it brunette?  I'm always missing out...