Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Selectivity of Attention Deficit

I've bumped into an assload of these posers who pull a card everytime they're rude. Every one of them are liars, I don't care what you say. We're to blame because we gave them that card. Satisfying their wish to be deemed half-retarded yet their IQ equates mine. Sweeping their blatant mid-sentence interruptions or departures off our shoulders because we make like they didn't know. If you call them on it, they know they did it, "yea, my bad I've got A.D.D." Nope, sorry, not okay...maybe if you plead insanity and didn't accept fault because you never knew you did it; then we'd be cucumbers.

These people are just prioritizing their interests every second like everyone else in the world, except they choose to not sacrifice their time to the task that just fell a rung on the pyramid. That choice is what pisses me off, because it's a controllable's not insanity.

How many times in your life had you actually had to concentrate?....I mean really fucking focus because your life means something so important in that moment...

You're there on your mother's death bed and she's trying to say her last words but she's coughing and it takes her almost twenty minutes to catch her breath before she gets another word's the thanks she feels..... and although it's the wrong name of her son that she's loved your whole life, you know what she meant and you got to hear all you could've ever regretted.

Taking the controls of the plane you've manned for 22 straight years, this day is no different than the rest. 150 passengers trust that yours are the best hands to put their lives in. On your millionth mile, your engine celebrates. Spewing fireworks mid-flight, you're left with nothing but a descent to ground and several minutes to react. In those minutes you decide to save everyone's lives.

The ballet has been a dream of your wife's and she's finally bought the tickets. Dead center, they couldn't be any better. She wraps her arm in yours and leans into you; the only person she'd ever want to share the experience. You slide your winter jacket on the armrest to make it more comfortable because you know the next 2 and a half hours are for her.

A gorgeous brunette catches your eye tonight so you decide to talk. You make it back home and somehow you know she's the one. It might've been the way she smiled, or those eyes that revealed the depths of those lives you'll create in the years ahead. You laugh for hours, until she finally falls asleep holding your pillow. You begin imagining what it'll be like waking up next to this girl every single day if she chooses you, and just in case she doesn't, you promise yourself you won't take your eyes off her until the sun rises.

In these situations and the million others that are similar to our everyday lives, I know someone who's deemed themselves retarded, chooses not to be. They know better than to ever pull that card in that moment.

Every single one of us has A.D.D. We're aware of our surroundings, our options, what we enjoy the most, where we'd rather be, how we should act and what deserves our time. When making decisions in those silent seconds that only you know the competing options you're contemplating, you have the right to remain silent. The ability to choose your direction and who you want to be. What you want to sacrifice for others. If you want to be the guy who saves everyone's lives, you're going to pay fucking attention and land that damn plane. If your mother never gets to speak another word, it won't matter how long she takes to say it, your attention will never waiver. And whether savoring one moment with a new love takes all night, or investing time in your marriage means being clasped tight at the ballet like a statue for, the retarded one, will do whatever you have too, no matter if it takes every ounce of your energy, to hold back from doing something else that's more appealing.

You truly don't have A.D.D., you just choose that stupid ass card whenever the shoe fits.

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